So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
