Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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