I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize