you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
