And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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