Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
