I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry about my life...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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