Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
