I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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