Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
