It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize