Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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