I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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