Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
