i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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