so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
