How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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