I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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