Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
