I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
