Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
