As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
