A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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