dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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