I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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