U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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