piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
