I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
