Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
