I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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