My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize