My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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