we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
