the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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