it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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