Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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