Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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