Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my sisters under your porch take her home
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
