If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
