But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
