i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
