I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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