dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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