thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
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