Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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