She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize