He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I believe in your delicious
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
