Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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