Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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