there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
