help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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