Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize