I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize