just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
