I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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