I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You are a genius and a whore.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
