Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
