he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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