Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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