no. you can't hotbox the world.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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