Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
