You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
