Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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